When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
