Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
