I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
