after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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