Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
