we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I supernannyed him into submission
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
