i permit you to call me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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