not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
