I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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