so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
