Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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