planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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