That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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