A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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