John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
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Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
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Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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