Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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