i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
