I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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