well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
