Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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