so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
