fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
