She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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