I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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