oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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