just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
