so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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