Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
