Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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