So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
