Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
