i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
