i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
