i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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