Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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