bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
