i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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