So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
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I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me