i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
where am i from again
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name