so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!