Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
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screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
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My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it