So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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