I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
