I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
