I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
