I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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