We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Jerry, you need to find god
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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