I hate your face
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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