i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
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Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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