Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
