Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
