I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize