A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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