My nipple is on Facebook.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she smelled like a LAN party
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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