im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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