Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
