Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
