you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
