and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
