you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
