garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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