If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Actions speak louder than pants.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
