Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
false alarm. still invincible.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
