so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
