Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
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you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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