Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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