Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize