Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
porn star boner night. come get it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
