He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So here I am, sexting at work.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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