giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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