Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
